


I'm Thinking Things I Shouldn't Say

by thalia_muse_of_comedy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Weird Conversation, discussions of death and murder, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:15:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28928649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thalia_muse_of_comedy/pseuds/thalia_muse_of_comedy
Summary: What weird things does Sakusa Kiyoomi think about when he's quiet? And why is Atsumu surprised when he finds out?
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	I'm Thinking Things I Shouldn't Say

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a weird conversation that happened irl, and I still don't know what to make of why they said what they did haha.
> 
> They're playing MK + discussing murder so that's why we have the M tag. Yes this is named after [ hand crushed by a mallet (though I prefer the remix](https://open.spotify.com/track/3olLYNEyTr7JfTr1k7QTEt?si=AxHuDC60RyuCqblwoDDNkQ).  
> Thanks for reading, don't expect much from this hehehe.

The temperature of the living room of Atsumu’s apartment keeps climbing higher and higher. Summer presses down on them, turning them into liquid. Atsumu is stretched out on the couch. The heat is messing with his ability to remember the combos to use on the character he selected to fight Bokuto, who’s been the champion of the fighting game tournament they’ve been playing. Maybe he could play better if he just sat up, but that’s not happening any time soon.

When Atsumu loses, he shrugs and pretends that he’s not annoyed as he passes the controller to Sakusa when he lifts up his hand to take it without looking back at Atsumu. He’s on a cushion leaning against the couch. In turn, he slides the controller to Shouyou on the other side of the coffee table. 

Atsumu admits to himself another reason he won’t sit up from his spot on the couch. In this position, he can watch the way Sakusa’s curls bounce every time he adjusts or tilts his head when he’s confused by the action on the screen. It’s nice to watch Sakusa. With all of his arbitrary rules, he would never allow Atsumu to be this physically close to him in any other context. 

Atsumu shifts his head closer to the edge of the couch and closes his eyes. Shouyou and Bokuto egg each other as they battle. 

“Shouyou, how could you use that combo on me!”

“The goal is to win! I won’t hold back.”

Sakusa hums, “You haven’t beat him yet tonight.”

“None of us have,” Atsumu says petulantly, wanting to remind Sakusa he’s in the same boat as him and Shouyou. He feels Sakusa lean forward away from the couch. The rule of engagement must have been broken when Atsumu’s words bounced off the back of Sakusa’s neck. 

Atsumu opens his eyes and watches Bokuto’s character stab out the eyes of Shouyou’s character. The sprite stands back up because: video game logic.

“That’s one of my favorite attacks,” Shouyou chirps as the next round starts. 

“You have a favorite attack?” Sakusa asks. He’s using the spotless coffee table to stretch his wrists a little bit. 

Bokuto wiggles in his seat, “don’t most people who play video games? I really like the one where the guy gets split in half.”

Shouyou giggles as his character blocks Bokuto’s attempt to grab him. “Yeah that one’s pretty sick!”

Sakusa leans back against the couch again, and Atsumu adjusts so his face isn’t so dangerously close to the back of Sakusa’s neck.

“Omi, you don’t have a favorite? I hear it’s always the quiet ones who have the most violent thoughts.”

Sakusa twists to look at Atsumu. The hair that usually curls off the side of his forehead is sweat slick and stuck to it instead. His mouth is a flat line, but some mischief hides in his eyes. This is going to be interesting.

“That might be true. I do have all my friends’ deaths planned,” Sakusa says just for Atsumu to hear. 

He can feel his lip curl involuntarily, “that’s fucked up, Omi.”

“You’re right, ‘friends’ is a stretch,” Sakusa muses.

“I meant the dying part.”

Sakusa shrugs and begins to face the television again, but Atsumu’s not ready to be without his attention.

“Who?” he spits out in a rush.

Sakusa focuses back on Atsumu again. “Who?” he parrots.

“Whose deaths? Like damn, have you even imagine Shouyou’s?”

Nodding, Sakusa very quietly says, “I think it’d be interesting if he drowned.”

Atsumu is disgusted and morbidly curious. How much does Sakusa think about this stuff? 

“What's the logic behind this stuff?”

“I think it suits him: to go down fighting for oxygen.”

Sakusa leans more of his body against the couch. His face is pillowed on the couch cushion too close to Atsumu when asks,“Do you want to know yours?”

Strangely, Atsumu begins to feel himself blush. Sakusa’s stare makes the room feel more and more like an oven. 

Atsumu doesn’t want to know; he doesn’t like to think about his own mortality, but the idea of Sakusa thinking of him in any capacity makes him hungry to know.

He nods.

“I’d burn you,” Sakusa says in a voice barely above a whisper.

“Why?” Atsumu manages to choke out. The phrasing feels personal. It feels like less than “imagining your death” and more like “fantasizing about killing you.” Fire seems much more passionate.

Sakusa tilts his head thoughtfully. His gaze picks apart Atsumu. “You deserve to burn,” is the only answer Atsumu gets. He says it with such conviction that Atsumu feels his mouth drying. 

The way Sakusa is talking about this is making Atsumu angry, but he doesn’t know why. Sakusa is a puzzle that keeps getting more and more complicated. He’s a bad card game with new rules introduced mid-hand.

The urge to respond burns on his tongue.  _ I’d stab you, finally penetrate you and find your core,  _ is what Atsumu wants to say. He bites down on the scarred insides of his cheeks instead. 

Usually by now, Sakusa would have lost interest in waiting for Atsumu's response. Instead, he’s watching Atsumu process everything. The corners of his mouth are pulling up into a smile. His dark eyes shine, swallowing up all the light that hits them.

The words tumble out of Atsumu’s mouth, “I’d choke you. Just to watch the light leave your eyes.” Because the light is condescending; it’s judging Atsumu’s every move and evaluating if he’s worth the effort of acknowledging.

Satisfied, Sakusa turns back around, and they don’t speak for the rest of the evening.

  
  



End file.
